Sunday, March 25, 2012

Uphill Battle

I am struggling a bit.  My husband and I are on different pages when it comes to the D care and I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle.  I am a reader and a researcher...It comes naturally.  I am studying to be an elementary librarian and currently work as a library assistant for high school.  So this role comes easily to me and, in truth, Mark relies on me to do just that since he hates reading and researching.  The problem is that right now, as far as D goes, he is not tracking with me..and it shows.  Seth's numbers prior to vacation were relatively normal.  I made a comment to Mark that I was exhausted as we were leaving.  He didn't understand why, so we agreed to let him take over Seth's D care while on vacation so that he could more readily understand what it is I do on a daily basis.  (Hubby works nights and sleeps days, so virtually all care falls to me).

We agreed that we would keep Seth's Lantus on the same schedule there as we do at home, so instead of a 9pm injection, it would be a 1am injection to account for the time difference.  I reminded him that if Seth was over 150 at a meal of 2 hours after a meal he needed to correct using 1 unit of insulin for every 50 he was over.

And I was so exhausted and NEEDED him to understand what it is I do to keep Seth in range, that control freak me let it go...completely.  I set the alarm for 3 am checks and headed to bed.  Most nights we were still up at 1 am, so the Lantus shot was not a problem.  Where the problems began was Mark decided that rather than correct between meals, they would just do it at meals.  Since I am a huge Disney freak, Mark and Seth spent more time at the resort and pool than the girls did, we spent a majority of our time at the parks.  So, I did not know that correcting was NOT happening.  This created a bond, if you will, between Mark and Seth, because Seth Hates correcting between meals, he really fights me on it.

Further, one night at dinner, Seth got mad at me when he asked me to help him figure out carb amounts.  He didn't like the amount that I suggested, so he started yelling at me.  I knew his BG was high, due to his irrational behavior, but the issue he brought up with me is that he no longer wants me to do 3 am testing at home and doesn't see the point for it since dad isn't doing it on vacation and he's fine...further he thinks the best way to die would be in his sleep, so who cares, if it happens, it happens.  :(  (Seriously, if I have anything to do about that, it will not happen on my watch)

When I pulled the BG records a couple of days later when we got home, I found that Seth's BG was very consistently in the 200-300 range with a couple of spikes in the 400 range. He must have felt like crap the whole vacation.

Now that we are home, it has been hard getting Seth's numbers in range.  When I go to test him at 3 am, he is not happy.  He  is sneaking food and not covering for it...and I am just struggling with it all.

Because Mark has not done the research, he does not seem to understand the seriousness of long term high blood sugar numbers.  And when I mention them, he thinks I am being dramatic.  So, we are at odds on this and I am, once again, exhausted.


  1. Oh, Becky, that SUCKS!! On so many levels, that just plain sucks.
    Ubergeek is the researcher in our family, though I do my fair share, too. He's just on the computer all day because of work, so it's easier for him to read articles and look up stuff. However, I'm the one doing 95% of the D care and I can totally relate to the exhaustion and the frustration that comes when someone else doesn't do things like they should be done when it comes to D. Not to mention how seriously yucky those highs can make our kids feel, and how, in turn they can make us feel crappy because they feel bad and say things that hurt. (ugh, dying in his sleep...that just breaks my heart!)
    And, adding vacation, which brings it's own set of difficulties, to the mix and you have a perfect storm of just plain shitty!

    Honestly, it could be the fact that he's still trying to process it all (not to let him off the hook AT ALL) and everyone has to come to terms with all the 'bad' that D can bring at their own pace. It just may take him longer to 'get on board' and understand.

    I can totally understand where Seth is coming from with the in between meals corrections. Bean was the same way! I mean really, who wants ANOTHER shot?!?! That's one benefit to the pump, for sure! But, now that you are back home and back to the regular routine, it's just something that needs to happen, whether he wants to or not. D is like makes everyone do things they don't want to do: have shots, make our kids bleed, stop what we're doing and test/dose.

    Hang in there!! Sending warm, snow melting HUGS your way! :)

    1. Denise...your comment means the world to me. I sometimes feel like no one gets what all this means for us. Thank you for understanding my feelings. :) I am going to sign Seth up for the Diabetes support group here in town and I am considering finding a counselor for him to help figure out how to deal with his feelings. I've been thinking maybe he needs a safe place he can go to just say what he feels and work through his feelings without worrying about my heart. Snow melting hugs back your feels hopeful, like maybe we did survive winter after all and the summer will come. YAY!