Thursday, April 12, 2012

HAWMC #12: Stream of Thought

Today we are to do a stream of consciousness write. 

GREAT!  This morning I get to do a D vomit… I need it.
Last night Seth was running low, he was 70 a half hour before bed.  Going to bed we like to have him between 120-150…Peeps we have found raise his blood sugar superfast.  Is anyone surprised by this?  So we gave him 2 peeps (14 carbs) from his Easter Candy and then I had him eat ½ an apple and 1 packet of Almond Butter so he would have some fat to sustain the blood sugar.  We tested 30 minutes later and he was 178…oops.  But we have also increased his Lantus to 10 units, so I wasn’t overly concerned.  I figured if he was still high at 3 am, I could correct.  I sent Seth to bed and set my alarm for 3.
I had a difficult time falling asleep.  My mom is going through some health issues, I’m worried and I had a hard time shutting it off.  I remember looking at the clock for the last time at 1:00.  And then…my alarm goes off and I look at it and it is:  6:30
What the what?  My alarm was still set for 3:00 so I must have turned it off and gone right on sleeping.  Not cool.  I walk into Seth’s room to wake him up for his day and (my boy who HATES night time testing) opens one eye and says “aren’t you lucky I woke up this morning, I don’t remember seeing you in the middle of the night.”
I laughed and said I am very glad to see you this morning and I must have been extremely tired last night to sleep through something that important.
But on the inside?  I was filled with guilt and doubt.  I had messed up in a big way and I knew it.  I 100% believe in night testing. I do it 4-5 nights a week and Mark does it the other nights when he is off work (he works nights so is not home).  This week Mark had to work some extra shifts so was unable to relieve me and it took its toll.  I would like to say we are 100% at our middle of the night testing, but about once every 2 weeks, we miss a night due to exhaustion.  I don’t know how other parents do it as consistently as they do.  It is an area I need to work on.  Most nights I am unable to fall back to sleep after the 3 am check, so I average about 4 hours of sleep a night, it takes its toll and eventually sleep wins out.  I just pray that the night that sleep wins for me, is not the night that D wins the battle for my son…I could never live with myself.  I am hoping that the pump will help with this and I am fighting for a continuous glucose monitor that will alarm when he goes low to give me some more peace of mind.
D is exhausting and I don’t even live with it the way my son does.


  1. D is a huge game changer and you have done a great job learning the rules and playing by them! My I lovingly suggest this article in the April Ensign:
    We can receive strength beyond our natural capacity through our Savior.

  2. Nice Seth. Stinker. Good suggestion above mamatamera. Remember that the Savior holds His son, Seth, in His arms at night...